sau ·da ·de

“the love that remains”

a short story re-imagining [their airport goodbye]















  1. “Oh tender yearning! Bitterness of joy
    For the unhappy, thorn of absence with
    Delicious puncture piercing through the heart,
    Awakening pain that lacerates the soul,
    Yet hath it pleasure;—tender yearning grief!
    Mysterious power that canst awaken hearts,
    And make them ooze forth, drop by drop distilled,
    Not life-blood, but of soft and dewy tears
    A solacing abundance;—yearning grief;
    Beloved name, that sounds so honey-sweet
    In lips of Lucitania [sic]; sound unknown
    To the proud mouth of these Sycambrians
    Of foreign lands;—oh, tender yearning grief!
    Thou magic Power that dost transport the soul
    Of absence unto solitary friend,
    Of wandering lover to his mistress lorn,
    And even the sad and wretched exile, most
    Unhappy of Earth’s children, bear’st in dreams
    Back to his country’s bosom, dreams so sweet
    That cruel ’tis the dreamer to awake.
    If, on thy humid altar, tear-bedewed,
    I laid my heart, which fast was throbbing still
    When from my bleeding breast I plucked it forth
    At Tagu’s mouth beloved;—come in thy ear,
    By gently murmuring doves gray-pinioned drawn,
    And seek my heart which, Goddess, sighs for thee!”

    Almeida Garret, Camões, 1828; (on the beauty and the meaning of the word saudade)

      1. It does…
        Saudade is like the german word sehnsucht.
        Schiller and Goethe both famously wrote about it, but Garret makes it more justice in his poem I think.

  2. I hear the footsteps… the next chapter is on its way. And if the name is any indication, the rest of the night isn’t going to give him any more peace! Nothing is. So what are you going to do Raizada?

  3. It is our own inner torments they are responsible for our tortures ..we look for other’s doorstep to lay the blame. He which acknowledges it overcomes his own shortcomings ….

  4. Hey!! It’s always amazing to read more of your work! And your usage of language always fascinates and surprises me! You have a very unique way of capturing emotions in words, that many poets and writers would struggle with!

  5. First off, love love love the quote. The pain, the anguish that is communicated through that one line is almost palpable.

    And now for the chunkier meat you’ve thrown at us here. saudade. It’s a potent word that can’t quite be translated into modern English. And that’s the beauty of it. Real, raw emotion can’t be described, it can only be felt. And you K, have a gift of illustration that always leaves us reeling at the end.

    Much love,

  6. As promised, refreshing faithfully… and mightily rewarded may I say. Serenade, huh? Is there wooing in the air? Me and my Refresh button… pardon me… My Refresh Button and I will check again!

  7. Thank you for the mail K. You have me – a faithful slave under the power of your words, the all- consuming intensity of them.
    Absolutely glad to be here 🙂

  8. Another world huh? K I hope ur soonish means later… come on man am dyin here -__- lol

    P.S. Bet I’ll be at snail pace when you update… seems to be getting really tardy lately… but nevertheless I’ll still be waiting 😀

  9. No! No! No! Where the heck are you K?… lost in another world yet again hhmm? Do I need to send out a searching team to come get you? Are create a portal to bring you back to the writing world? Uffff!!!

    1.P.S my waiting is way pass eagerly -___-

    2.P.S. ..Hope you are OK thou Hun 😀 XOXO

  10. Reading the above comments reminded me of the time when I had the time and patience to read something other than fan fiction – made me feel guilty too…but thank you just seeing (reading) the name Goethe I am tempted to pick up the sorrows of young Werther …

    1. And have you caved to temptation?

      If not allow me to help 😉

      “I have so much in me, and the feeling for her absorbs it all; I have so much, and without her it all comes to nothing.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther

  11. hey how are you? i get job so i get busy little and i get surprise when i come back. Rabbit hole, crimson court and FWN are no more available. 🙁 and here also i get little shock. waiting for this story updates but will wait. come back soon.

  12. So happy to start reading… sorry that I have been absent … it has been a tough year …. lovely words … so apt!! ship13(IF)

    1. Heh heh, how do you always manage to be the first to slip into our world? 😀 How have you been Ker Ker?

  13. It’s good ur doing well in ur life..❤️
    I’ll be glad to become the part of ur wonderful stories nt just new bt old one also..😃
    So, plz let me know if I’m that much lucky.

  14. I was so excited and thrilled to see your note of comeback… forget about chucking something sharp at you… all i want to do is envelope you in a warm and tight hug <3 !!!!!!

    Welcome back !!!

    1. Hahaha always appreciated 😉 Hmmm… will I drown if I allow myself into the arms of a siren?
      Fuck it, c’mere for that hug!

  15. Welcome back.

    Happy Women’s Day!

    Would she come back for him or would he try searching for her?

    Is he going to wait for her to board the flight?

    Men, such complicated creatures, they says we are the complex ones. Hidind their feeling and emotions and at the same time and praying and hoping the one at the receving end realized their masked feelings.

    So happy that you are back!

    Looking forward for the next

    1. Hahaha, men are actually pretty simple, but they do manage to tangle themselves up in a fine mess without a woman’s guiding hand 😉
      So glad to have you here with us sharuag!

  16. Hi, oh its old story, haven’t read this. Will start reading. N reply as I’ll get time.
    Thnx for d mail. I’m always happy to read ur stories.
    Take care. Bye

  17. OH My God
    What a surprise what a surprise what a surprise
    Iam super happy and super excited
    Thank you for finding some time and coming back
    Tight hugs from my side

  18. I’ve read Saudade a long time ago.. And between the first time and now, I’ve truly lost track of how many times I’ve read it. Sometimes I would come back to read one or two specific chapters, sometimes to read it all..
    Somehow, this story and the gutting pain I experience every single time I read have become a place of solace for me, something I read when I’m feeling too sad, angry, or melancholic. I can’t really explain it but the raw pain Arnav and Khushi , but especially Arnav, go through in Saudade call out to something in me and it feels almost cathartic to read it.

    This story was how I realized the previous site was down, and it was what I looked forward to read most once when you got the ficverse on once again.

    I wanted to read it from start to finish (or at least to where you stopped updating 😉) I got swarmed with Work and life in general and I I kept delaying because I wanted to savor reading it and comment this time around.

    Three months later… Something happened at work that pissed the hell out of me and shot my mood and I just knew this is what I need.

    So here goes.. (They can go fuck themselves for all I care right now)

    1. Oh darling, I really needed to devour this lovely comment today. (We’ll just ignore the long-ish time lapse in between yes? 😉 )
      My head space these last few years has not been conductive to writing, although Saudade continues to tug at me from time to time.
      Hmmm… perhaps someone shall tiptoe into the writing cave and clear out some cobwebs.
      I hope this note finds you healthy and ever delightful.

      Your K-est of K

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