“Cold” ― Jorge Méndez

The sheets were stained. Not from the wrestle of slick bodies in throes of heat, but imprints of a nightmare’s cold sweat. His.

Arnav Singh Raizada stood on the threshold of a thousand thoughts as he starred out at London’s soaked streets. A thousand agitated creatures screaming in perpetual disagreement inside his mind’s courtroom. Dismissal did not quiet them; attention turned them into surging bolts of electricity burning at the ruptured threads of sanity.

The end of the cigarette burned red as he inhaled, briefly separating his face from the dark. The calm arrangement of masculine features belied the sickly panic that had thrust him from dreamless sleep to the disturbed echo of crippling loss.

He’d tore from bed to balcony, body locking as he became an unwilling witness to a city etched in mourning. Against tempered glass, the skies roared in misery, her snarls of wrath released on raging gusts of wind. In between the furious howls he heard it. No louder than a lover’s soft whisper. Stay.

A/N: This is not a love story, but it is their love story. I promise not the gentle chords of happily ever after, but the violent heart song of what happens when souls mate.

… index


  1. The emotions roiling in him have no place for gentleness. Not at the juncture where he is now at least. That’s not who Arnav Singh Raizada is. For someone so focused and driven, tepid emotions will not do justice to the man. Khushi is seemingly soft, but is equally tempestuous, when she is free to be herself. As had been shown so often in her contretemps with Arnav.
    I’m so looking forward to what you have in store for us K <3

    1. With Ruchi as my first midnight companion, this journey will be bright indeed. ^^
      Upon the last dip of ink you must tell me how you like this re-imagining in comparison to one kidnap track 😉

  2. Its awesome prelude.feeling like reading supense story. Waiting for reading more and if u make private plz I’m requesting u now plz give me access

  3. “Love is a fire. But whether it’s going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Joan Crawford

    Waiting to see if he will be Mr. Rochester calling out to his Jane on a Monday night-near midnight. Will there be any reconstruction to their love’s destruction?

    1. There is a moment between Mr. Rochester and his Jane that shatters me with how beautiful the result of an aligned heart and mind can be.

      It was a daydream I nursed for nearly two years for Mr. Raizada. That ultimately became wishful thinking, but I did enjoy sitting on the seat of hope.


      “Come to my side, Jane, and let us explain and understand one another.”

      “I will never again come to your side: I am torn away now, and cannot return.”

      “But, Jane, I summon you as my wife: it is you only I intend to marry.”

      I was silent: I thought he mocked me.

      “Come, Jane—come hither.”

      “Your bride stands between us.”

      He rose, and with a stride reached me.

      “My bride is here,” he said, again drawing me to him, “because my equal is here, and my likeness. Jane, will you marry me?”

      1. Ah chapter XXIII, he proposes after the most breathtaking speech made by Jane about her love for him:
        “Do you think I can stay to become nothing to you? Do you think I am an automaton? — a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! — I have as much soul as you, — and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh; — it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God’s feet, equal, — as we are!”

        Is that the spirit that is asking ASR to stay?

        What will his nocturne thoughts and realisations make him do?

        1. Had I been the man she addressed, I would have proposed on the spot! A breathing woman is our Jane! It kills that Khushi never poured such truths on Arnav, where did that backbone disappear to?

          1. Had I been there, instead of Jane, I would have said YES, on the spot.
            And that backbone disappeared with the writers’ “jump the shark” ideas…or perhaps they had read “101 ways to mess a good storyline”.

  4. A softly spoken word is hauntimg him so much, making him so restless – what will her presence do – deprive. him of what remains – what is he seeking in London… Looking forward to your writing ..

  5. This was, is the man that pulled us all towards him. ASR. A man filled with agony, pain, fighting with his own inner demons for the people he loved. This Prelude pulls the strings to my heart. I can only imagine what this journey will evoke in the readers, and you my love as the writer.

    I am ready and waiting with you my dear friend, K… take me along with you on this soul filled journey.

    Hamesha yours,

      1. Yes Please! It will ensure my heart can be sustained to keep beating steadily… though I imagine it will be more of dhak dhak thudding hard and erratic with ups and downs. But hey I wouldn’t have it any other way… bring it on!

  6. K, what an awesome start! ASR is synonymous with control and at this point where he is torn between those unnamed (and out of control) feelings for Khushi and his notions about her betrayal..he must feel agitated and miserable! The scene is beautifully setup .. Can’t wait to read how this unfolds.

    Thank you K! For the story & the invite.. Lots of Love!

    1. Good to see you here! 🙂 To be fair, prior to Khushi, the people in his life are quite happy to have him manage them. His family, his employees – because they need or want something in return. Khushi doesn’t want the things that he normally place on the negotiation table, thus giving the poor man a terrifying mindfuck. 😀

      1. That is so true K! I like the way you put it..He never quite got the chance to not have to be in control…until Khushi happened! Now I am even more eager to see how this conflict plays out…!

  7. Unbelievable… How much you conveyed in 13 lines. Yes I counted!

    Starting from the ‘What ifs’ and ‘might have beens’… reference to the sheets… to the restlessness, agitation and turmoil inside him shown so brilliantly through elements outside his room. Mind’s courtroom… Absolutely, there had to have been a furious debate going on between mind and heart… reason and gut feeling. To the sick feeling inside… a realization of a horrible mistake made maybe? A realization maybe, that he might not be the only person who can walk away? To that last word ‘Stay’. Sigh… That one whispered word screaming out all his yearnings, struggles, hopes and desires.

    After the terrace scene, the airport one is probably the one I hated the most. She begs, says everything and yet he still walks away…Well sort of. We see his struggle there… but this panic in your Arnav is so much more powerful. It won’t let him rest till he resolves the misunderstanding, will it? The wake up call in this scenario to make him see the reality.

    I never wish that a writer’s take on a particular scene was used in the original show. I think the original show left these moments… some beautiful, some horrible, and writers can mould them as they will. In the hands of a talented writer these moments, irrespective of whether they were beautiful or horrible, shine like a star. Except the Naked Truth was one… and now this. Gut wrenching darling K!

    Love and regards,

    1. You spoil me, and considering the week I’ve had, this pampering is most welcomed.
      When will you and G produce something for us to feast on?

      The airport scene is one that infuriates me because all that build up and angst was wasted by a pointless kidnapping track that stripped the essence of Arnav and Khushi and replaced them with caricatures. >.<
      This is an attempt to wash away that bitter taste. Next round will deliver more than 13 lines 😛

      1. Welcome words! Bitter was never a favored flavor for me, therefore I look forward to your interpretation of this dish. So midnight is the witching… or should I say Bewitching Hour? I can promise a faithful ‘Refresh’ every midnight, darling K. And as for the number of lines… that wasn’t meant as a criticism at all… more like a statement of wonder.

        P.S. I am working on G, if we persevere who knows? As for me… I can tell you, that particular chip is missing from the motherboard. It’s not false modesty… sigh… once again just honest statement of facts.

        P.P.S. FWN… muddat huyi thi yaar ka mehman bane huye… so thank you!

        1. You and G both have unexplored talent in abundance. Please don’t ever doubt a talent yet unexplored. You have the words and the medium. We are ready as readers, please do indulge these wistful hearts soon 🙂 x

  8. His pain, his anguish, his inability to share his melancholy of having her and yet not having her. That’s the ASR I fell in love with. And now this journey of his tryst with that silently said word… Stay.

    Can’t wait for it all to began.

    1. I often think it is the suspicion of infidelity that eats away at you faster than having the fact of it. That chasm of faith and mistrust is hell itself.

  9. Ahhh he puffing away in to the nights if London and not in some godforsaken crumpling building …..this new take on that track is what I’m looking forward to….

  10. To this day, I don’t understand why Arnav married khushi? He had enough power and wealth to ” manage” a lower middle class girl to save his di’s marriage, but he chose to marry khushi. It felt more like a punishment for breaking his heart than trying to ruin his di’s marriage. Your prelude just feels like a continuation of that tsunami he went through that night on terrace, watching khushi in another man’s arms. I bet if he would have seen khushi with NK, the reaction would have been the same.
    Whilst reading your prelude, I could visualise Arnav standing on the terrace door and after that fateful night, every night was the same for him.

    1. Absolutely. His ‘reasons’ were laughable and had either of them given it any thought, they would have arrived at the truth – he married her because he wanted to.

      I didn’t mind the contract marriage, it opened up hundreds of doors for emotional beats, not to mention unless opportunities for skinship due to force cohabitation. Unfortunately the CV decided the audience consisted of nuns and children. It is the only excuse I can think of for the waste of chemistry and hair pulling tracks.

  11. Such a broken ode to love tightens the heart with a melancholy so achingly familiar that a wistful smile lines the lips in soft greeting for this old friend.

    Not every story is destined for forever, some stories will always remain in hope, others hopelessly incomplete.

    In saudade I surrender this silly heart to be ripped apart and sewn together by the magic of words because sometimes a surrender to your fate is the only way to survive…


    1. Did you mean to slay me? Punch a neat little hole? Because…. success darling!
      I love your comments, you know this.
      I adore you, also a known fact.
      Whether I manage to rip and heal that tender heart remains a question. 😉

  12. Angsty, beautiful, battered…will wait to see how this journey unfolds. Though I am already more than a little numb imagining revisiting the angsty Raizada….of course he was the man we all fell in love with – so perhaps all is well and the battle is not lost, eh K? I am one of those that crave happy ever afters and that is the one thing you are not promising us with this one- what shall I say to that?

    OK, Anupama, like it or lump it!

    Conversation to self…over….will be on this ride with you for better or worse dear friend! Bring it on!



    1. I promise to make it up to you… later. This one’s been lurking under my skin for ages, it needs release.
      Fortitude, my friend, will see us all through. Muah!

  13. Excited to be a part your this new work right at the start; notwithstanding the ominous “not going to be a gentle chord of happily ever”. The Airport scene was a crucial moment made me highly strung for weeks with why and what ifs…..

    1. Glad to have you Nik. ^^
      Happily ever afters have its beauty, but sometimes the soul requires a different kind of stirring.
      Let’s ride out the storm together yeah?

  14. Thanx for inviting me to read another of ur brilliantly written story so looking forward,I’m glad in this story the way you wrote arnav’s inner turmoil n also no kidnapping scene n also you will write their story the way it shouldbe done n we were not able to see it in the show n i also agree with most of readers comments that ASR did marry khusi for himself bcoz he wanted to punish her for the betrayal bcoz he was a powerful man n had so many other ways to set his jeeja on track,Arnav’s character was so nicely shown in the beginning but they spoiled it after marriage track.

    1. I actually enjoyed some of the marriage track. There were so many opportunities for heartfelt beats and playground for that scorching chemistry. But the writers were abducted by aliens and thus we got what we got. It’s my story, I’m sticking to it!

  15. Hi dear, thank you for the invitation. It’s a pleasure to be part of your stories ..
    Reliving and retelling beautiful arhi moments especially when it’s from you is an even greater pleasure…Dissapointed with how IPK shaped Into after the hate marriage. Such strong story line and stronger characters could do even better justice …glad to be part of it. Waiting for more of such brilliant introspection of our favourite characters.
    P.S..How about crimson court .Have read it’s on hold .But for how long ?..Eager to read that one too!

  16. This man reminds me of the ASR we witnessed in the beginning of the show. This ‘stay’ reminds me of ‘shayad mera dil tumhare pukarta hai’ from the promo but in a reversed manner.
    I loved the intensity. The agony, pain, longing pulls my heartstrings. Waiting to see where you take me to with this story – to the bottom of burning fire or to those covered layers of intense scorching heat.
    Bring it on!!

  17. What a great start!
    There was so much angst packed into that one word – “Stay”! It was not just the baggage of his past that haunted him, it was that and also his own personality of “Arnav Singh Raizada” which made him fight the “giving in” to a slip of a small town girl!
    His eyes always spoke a million words and what so many viewers fell in love with. The anguish in his eyes just after he walked away from her after her tearful “Stay” still haunts me.
    No kidnapping? Bring it on 🙂

  18. Wow that is very interesting. Would love to explore this emotional rollercaster of Arnav’s and Khushi’s agony , anguish and emotions under your beautiful and creative penship.

  19. Wow.. !!
    Such use of language to show his anguish, his pain, his longings and her simple 4 letter word ‘stay’ never held so much power and pain at the same time.

    waiting for this intense passionate love story… Can’t wait for this treasure.. !

  20. Simply stunning… Arnav battling the demons within, his disquietude yanking him from the unconsciousness of sleep; his inner turmoil, his dreams of sadness juxtaposed beautifully with the vagaries of nature !! ❤️
    Waiting with breathless excitement for more !! 😍

  21. I always hated short updates. But you K never fail to deliver. For thirteen lines, I shall give you thirteen words:

    war, desperation, conflict, mercy, denial, madness, detachment, sickness, grief, frozen, anguish, fury, plea

    Can you decipher my words as I tried to find meaning in yours?

    ~ Anna <3

    1. man at War
      soul soaked in Desperation
      a Conflict of loyalties
      no Mercy in sight.
      Denial a lifeline
      broken by Madness,
      Detachment born
      of a Sickness circling within,
      It echoes of a Grief
      Frozen in time.
      It is bittersweet Anguish he taste,
      as Fury quiets
      in face of her Plea


      1. Oh Captain! my Captain!
        You gave life to the story searing through my mind. How you rose to the implicit challenge. If I wasn’t in awe of you before K, you have me hook, line, and sinker for hamesha.

  22. Where the heck have I been huh? I’m getting way to tardy these days ufff!…

    I love the opening of the story K. It shows the depth of Arnav Singh Raizada turmoil. For a man who claims to predict his own destiny and always have things under his control becomes confuse having his emotion running all over the place. This is something new for him being extremely distressed about the fact that he walk away from that one word “Stay” I love the way you describe the way he’s feeling. I can actually visualize what’s happening in that hotel room, from the ” The sheets were stained. Not from the wrestle of slick bodies in throes of heat, but imprints of a nightmare’s cold sweat”, to the “The end of the cigarette burned red as he inhaled, briefly separating his face from the dark.”  good start K even though that’s not a surprise 😀

    Anxiously waiting to see where the open of this story go from here. I know I wouldn’t be disappointed and I’m ready to be drift away in the lull of Saudade.

    1. That is exactly what I was wondering Kerrik. Where the heck have you been? It’s no fun ( what would I be if not dramatic?) correction…not as much fun… if the gang is not all here. Plus Kerrik.. I passed the Lightening Rod to you girlfriend (lamenting the ignominious dethroning every step of the way… but I did it) so I need you here.

      Having said that, how are you? Hope all is well in your world.

      Love and regards,

      1. Am here hunny bunny and ain’t going nowhere leaving all the funtastic stuff for you alone to enjoy.. where’s the fun in that huh! Just been a lil tardy but am trying to get my A game back on track. I guess I’ve failed you in the Lightening Rod department huh? Gosh that’s just suck LOL need to get my shit together so you don’t regret passing on the throne to me, bcuz damn there’s so many quick fingers up in this issssshhh!!!

        All is well at my end Hun and hope you OK too. Keep safe XOXO

        Loads of love,

    2. Your faith in this pen as well as the good company is cherished Ker. Muah!
      Although… this river we are on is less leisure drifting and more white waters rafting 😛

      1. When we got good stuff waiting for us.. whats the use of staying away… you know I got stalking capabilities… Well then ill raft my thru yeah!!! Either way works for me… am still gana be here 😀

  23. First of all dear, congratulations & thank you for this beautiful surprise…….. Thank you for gmail…

    I loved the theme of this blog…..

    Though the update is too short, but its so intriguing……In few sentences you have rightly described Arnav’s struggle, regret, love, sorrow, helplessness……. You have correctly described Arnav……….. Hats off to you dear…..

    Its fabulous dear….. Will love to follow it…..

    Totally waiting to know how you plan to weave this story…..

    (orchids8888 from IF)

  24. hii…an awesome start…the airport scene had haunted me for a long time…the kidnapping set right after that took away the essence of it all…i’m glad you’re writing this and am sure i’ll finally get some closure on that scene 😛 😀
    I’m so looking forward to reading this…


  25. It is intense and full of angst. It is gut-wrenching. Though I am a lover of happy endings and not much a fan of angst, I am ready to join this journey because I love reading and your writing inspires me. Waiting to see how you unfold the story.

  26. Hi K !
    Apologies for the delay in commenting. I just didn’t want to leave a half-assed comment in my rush, cause you deserve better and much more.
    I’m usually sceptical about reading angst, cause I feel too much and am a sucker for Happy endings. But after reading ( and re-reading ) the work up on Crimson Court, I’ll be dumbest person to give any work of yours a miss. So here I am.
    These lines, gave glimpses of the ASR we knew initially and who tugged at our hearts. You’ve beautifully depicted the raging tempest in his heart, the battle of his brain to choose a side separating faith and mistrust with a crevice between them. The length of the update certainly belies it’s intensity.
    How do you do it ? Say so much with so little. An art I obviously need to learn.
    Brilliant work, looking forward to rest, keeping bandages ready for my heart 🙂

    1. Should you ever decide to indulge in the IPK Ficverse I expect to be the first to know!
      Words are my weakness, I enjoy twisting them until they play the tune I hear at midnight. That you gals indulge me is a true blessing I’m grateful towards.

  27. This seems quite interesting even though I usually prefer a happily ever after story. However both your writings are always superb so I would love to read more of this.

  28. Great start! Your diction is awesome! Especially the line, “A thousand agitated creatures screaming in perpetual disagreement inside his mind’s courtroom.” It’s such a unique way of thinking about the voices inside one’s head

  29. Such anguish… that I wanted to be there for Arnav … place a hand on this shoulder and reassure him.. ” its going to be alright.. you will see” 😉

    Beautifully captured ShipperK.

  30. Oh Lord! You’re writing ‘THAT’ part. Thank goodness.
    Notice, I did not say ‘re-writing’ because I never believed that part (and others) were ever truly ‘written’

    The ‘kidnapping’ was such bullshit! Such mindless plot annihilation/character assassination.
    Thank you for this. Off to devour the rest.

  31. Oh my goodness, there you are! Welcome, welcome. This place has been too deserted for far too long. Give us a story, any story! No one (nothing) compares to you…… sing this line in your head or out loud until you are motivated enough to keep writing…. I mean it. kasam se and all that. Please do write!!
    much love,

  32. The words used to describe the feelings exclude a sense of hopelessness and hope, at the same time. It leaves the reader curious, excited yet worried.
    Love it!!!

  33. Welcome back ladies.. Look forward to your
    words inked on paper ..( Twitter account changed to sitareads2 )

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